# This is for you # 1-001 This Is For You Dear unborn child, to be honest, I don’t know how to start this. So please forgive me if this sounds cheesy or chaotic. It’s kind of crazy to write a letter to someone you don’t know, who doesn’t know you, and you’ll never meet. But I need to write this letter. Because if I don’t, I will have failed you, exactly like my father failed me. No, worse. Because I know more than he ever did. And with knowledge comes power, and with power comes responsibility. What makes this so hard is: All I ever wanted was to either become a better father to my child than my father was capable of being to me - or not have children at all. For most of my life, I dedicated my efforts to growing into the person worthy of being a father. Your father. Unfortunately, you were conceived before I managed to achieve this. Unfortunately, you ended up in exactly the same predicament that I found myself inhappily welcomed by a father who just wasn’t ready. By the time you read this, I hope you’ll be old enough to know that sometimes, when one doesn’t feel ready to do something, it’s human nature to do something very stupid. We might take on the challenge anyway, talk ourself into the illusion we were more than ready and just needed to pull ourselves together. We might freeze completely, staring at the obvious mission and simply do nothing about it. Or, we might run away and hide. People who do this are called cowards. And I will not judge you when you call your father what he is: A coward who didn’t have the guts to take on a role he wasn’t ready for. I will not judge you, because you are right: I am a coward. And when I learned that Kathy was pregnant, I did what cowards do: I ran away. Unfortunately, I chose an escape route with no return. Of course I didn’t know this at the time. Then, we’re talking 2020, I was under the illusion that what I was doing was the absolute right thing to do. Please believe me:-I wanted to take on the responsibility to be the father you deserve. I really wanted. In fact, my escape plan was how I thought I could become a responsible father. Because I didn’t feel completely insufficient. I had done my work. Over the years, I had invested in to the big mission I always knew was the only thing that mattered at all: Becoming a good father. I had checked almost all items on my list: I had set-up a business, successful enough to provide you with all the material resources you’d need without any need to take bribes from your grandmother. I had chosen a woman I knew would bewill be, I am still certaina loving, organized, well adjusted mother, someone who is able to build a home that you could fill with life. (By the way-never doubt that Kathy is the best mother on earth. I sacrificed a lot to make sure she’d be your mother. There’s noone who could love more, and, most importantly, she has what it takes to translate their love in what a chided needs every day. Something I am really bad at). I had confronted myself with the parts of my own path that were difficult to talk about. Why six years of psychotherapy were hard, really hard. The only reason why I did them was you. I understood that growing up without a father, with a harsh and judge­mental mother (stay away from her, she’s evil), and without a place to call home has hurt me deeply, and that I needed to protect you from the pain that still sits in my soul to break the cycle of intergenerational trauma. I had read every book on how to raise children with love and care, filled notebook after notebook with insights, and checklists, and dos and don’ts and detailed “fathering” plans for every year until you would be 33 years old. (I stopped there be I felt I couldn’t name what someone older than myself might need from their parents, given they grew up safely). If you want, you can read these notes, you’ll find them in the worn-out leather suitcase I left in the appartment on the Island, I mastered the art of healthy living steeled my muscles, adhered to by meditation routine, went vegan and clean eating, stopped smoking, quit heavy drinking, used sunscreen, and never missed a check-up or vaccination. In shortI was ready. There was just thing missing: i understand whatone 0happend with my father. After all these years, not knowing what happend -and why he left me-was the one thing that kept me from finally giving in to Kathy’s biggest wish. When I opened my laptop on this noteworthy day - March 20, 2020, I found this email: `From: [email protected] T : Peter @weltenwarderev.com Date: March 20,2020 Time: 6:43 pm CET Subject: Sit down before reading` `Text:` `Peter, we need to talk. I am` `pregnant.` `Kathy.` If I had known what happened to my father, I would have gladly replied “whenever you’re ready. I am But I didn’t. Instead, I did something very stupid. I decided that I will first solve the mistery - and then get back to her. And so, instead of answering, I closed the laptop, took a bottle of whiskey, a jacket, a pack of Chips, and put it all into my bag.. Then, I sat in front of the Air BuB, directly at the seafront. I stared the massive wall of rock on the her side of the passage and listened. The waves were high that evening, as they had been the past days. Then they came. The helicopter appeared above the cliff before I could hear it. It targeted the north of the island first, up to Playa Montaña Colorada, sniffing and spying down the walks towards Caleta del Sebo. When the loud metallic sound came near from behind me, I went inside, hiding from the guards like prey from a predator, just to peak out as soon as they were south to see them closing their round over Pedro Barba, leaving Graciosa towards Orzola and Arreciffe. The whole world was panicking at that time - Covid 19 was very new, and we were all afraid to die gasping for air, isolated in an intensive care unit with no chance to say good bye to our loved ones. But for me, sitting on a deserted island, the protection from the Guardia Civil felt way more threatening than the absurde news I had read on the internet. Within days, the world had turned into a place of fear, silent like a graveyard, with people locked into their houses with whichever predator lived with them. In my case, it was my own mind. Its surprising how fast we lumens learn to do what’s needed to be safe. It only took me 5 days to understand that the patrille would come at random times over the whole day, making sure not to produce any predictable pattern people could adjust to and escape the orders. But Talo knew that in the night, they relied on common sense. Nobody would be so stupid to try to escape their prison in the dark night of an empty, wild island. And so, when they were gone, I knew they wouldn’t return. I put on my hiking shoes, hurried to gulp down a 1.5 liter water bottle, and then it was time to leave. I hadn’t dared to even touch if: I hadn’t even entered the small room with the womout co , the saltcovered poster of a sunset, and the wobbly sunbleached little table in front of the sea front window. Ever since Some had left it there, I had avoided to even think about it. But now, there was no way back. Because if I wouldn’t find out what happened to my father. If I didn’t understand, why he left me-alone with this iceberg of a mother, lost in traveling from town to town, continent to continent, wherever her damn fashion business would need her. If I wouldn’t finally solve the puzzle of my life. Then I wouldn’t be able to face my mission -to be a better father than he was. And I knew that the only way to find out was to follow the only trace that I had: To read the book I had avoided to read all my life. The book that was the only thing he load left me. With a short note, saying the only words I have ever heard from thin directed towards me: > “My son, the world is broken. You’ll know, I can see in your baby eyes that you sense it -exactly the way I sense it. > > knowledge bears responsibility. I know that the world is falling apart. And I know I can heal it. > > I don’t know how - but I know that the key is this book. It’s a special book, because it’s different for anybody who reads it. You’ll think I’m mad, but I swear to you it’s true: It’s a magic book. It draws you in, and if you have the courage, it allows you to go to the other side of the rift that is the wound of our world. > > Not many people can do that. But I know, I can. And even less people will return. I don’t know if I will. > > But I have to try. Because those people who make it to the other side and back - they will heal both worlds. > > If you read this, it means I have failed to return. > > Perhaps, you can do better. > > Love, Dad” I shivered. Was I going mad? But I knew I had to do it. The moment I touched the dark red cover with the bronce shivering emblem of the two shales, I felt a big weight dropping of my shoulders. I was ready for this. You made me ready. Well, to be honest, it also needed same and her parents who had kept the book all these years. And now, Same lad placed it here. And I couldn’t wait any longer. Every day lost was a day less to find my father-or at least his remains -, understand coley all of this happened, find a way to return, heal the worldsand return as the father you deserve. And so I took the “Neverending story”, put it into my bag, and ventured out into the night without moon. %% Scene Card 1001 This Is For You “Peter learns that Kathy is pregnant and decides to finally look for his father” ⊛ What happens? - Peter writes a letter to his unborn child that he will never meet - He explains that he made a huge mistake by reacting wrongly to the information that Kathy was pregnant - He explains his lifelong plan to become ready to be abetter father than he ever had and how the quest to understand what happend to his father is the last mimicry link - With his child being born in around 8 months, he doesn’t have time anymore to avoid this ③ Consequence - Peter decides to finally read the book his father has left him with a personal note ② Why is this important? - Because Peter feels that he’s not ready to be a father - Because it’s his life goal to be onebut better then his own - Because he has never actually faced the pain of knowing what happenedand he’s convinced having this knowledge is what’s needed to be ready - Because his desire to connect and love his child is driving him crazy - Because his misbelief that he needs to be worthy of being a father before he can become one is preventing him from replying to Kathy What is his insight/shift? - He understands that the fact that Kathy is pregnant forces him to act upon the one thing he has always avoided: Read the book his father left him ⑤ And so…- Peter goes to the Beach in order to read the book. I don’t know you. You don’t know me. But… Well, you might have heard something about me, people tell stories all the time. But you know, people tell a lot of stories. Most of them do not matter. --- %% ## Old version I can’t do that. This is harder than I thought. Just had to pause and go for a walk. Ok, to cry. Godrin sent me back in. He’s got a point: At least I need to try. There’s nothing left I can do. So I will try. I promise. I hate to not keep promises. To be sure: I do not promise to finish. Neither that it will make any sense or be anyhow meaningful. But I sincerely promise that I will try. I mean, to tell you my story. Because that is the only way I know to show you… --- Fuck, this is impossible. Godrin standing behind me now. Yes, I know. Just writing it down. It’s only words, I know. So here’s the truth. I don’t know you. You don’t know me. But I love you. --- I love you with all my heart. I love you more than anything, in this world, in your world, in any world. Yes, even more than Godrin. He says it’s ok. Not sure if it is. Still hard to read his face. I know I didn’t live up to this sentence. I didn’t manage to … --- For Kaiuree’s sake. Let’s do this. Where do we start? I’ve got an idea. I’ll start with something simple. And interesting. Have you ever heard about monster waves? [[1 • Projects/P • The Book That Heals The World/Floflake 0.9 - All Prior Drafts/2025-11-28 Draft 02/1-002 Sanne]]